The Secrets To Hooking Up in Thailand [plus finding a girlfriend]

There are so many guys that go to South East Asia looking for love, and one of the top destinations is Thailand. It’s not hard to understand why, as Thailand girls are stunningly beautiful and have that mysterious charm that lures men from all over the world.

I also know many guys that have left Thailand broken-hearted, broke, broke and broken-hearted, and some broke, broken-hearted, and that never left.

That last case is the worst of the worst, those guys slide down a slippery slope of delusion into an abyss of further delusion and find it impossible to go home. They are the culturally cracked and become the white zombies of Asia.

This page is about avoiding all that, building rewarding relationships, understanding the territory and what it offers you and what you offer it, and finding a happy medium.

Because the truth is, I also know and see so many guys that enjoy their time in Thailand, and people enjoy them being there, and so, so, many guys that find real love.

Let’s take a deep dive.


What makes Thai girls so wonderful



Beauty – OK, let’s be straight up and honest about it. Thai girls are insanely attractive to western males. Silky hair, supple smooth skin, gorgeous complexion, and figure, yes, they are genetically blessed.

Personality – renowned for their friendliness, their smiles, fun-loving and easy-going attitude.

An understanding of life – rarely will you find spoilt brats or ‘princesses’ in Thailand, at least not on your path. Most girls have grown up in a life of subsistence. Most have also grown up in a large family circle as opposed to being single child little emperors and empresses. For the most part, they are incredibly well-adjusted individuals.

They are Buddhist at heart – caring, loving, compassionate, they rarely judge, and carry a certain optimism.

They get the job done – nothing holds a Thai girl back, they are not afraid of hard work, actually, they enjoy it and get a sense of reward from it, and they are not afraid to get dirty if that’s what it takes. If it’s dinner time and there’s nothing to eat, don’t be surprised if she’s gone missing and comes back ten minutes later with her skirt rolled up around her hips and a bucket of freshly caught fish.

Fun loving – they really do have a sense of adventure and a craving for the new. They love to live the happiness life, they proactively seek it and avoid trouble anyway possible.

Thai girls make great girlfriends – they are renowned for being the most caring and loving girls in the world.



Why are Western men attracted to Thai girls, and why are you?


Western guys are attracted to Thai girls for numerous reasons, perhaps many of the reasons already mentioned above. But here, I want you to think a little bit, and ask yourself, what makes you attracted to Thai girls?

It’s really important to answer that question, and to answer the question “what am I looking for when I go to Thailand?”

“At which point do I bail, what is my threshold?”

And, ask yourself seriously, “what if I meet the one, could I commit?”

Thailand offers anything you like. You need to know what you are looking for. It’s no good going to the rugby field for a game of ice-hockey, somethings going to break, likely you.

We can skip the political correctness, most guys want to get laid. It’s a natural driving force embedded into the male species, which is, to have sex. It’s how the human species survives. There is no reason to be ashamed of it or to be coy, it’s a natural desire.

Many guys, just like women, have sexual fantasies they like to fulfill. Perhaps all their life they have had a yearning for making love to a beautiful Asian woman? Maybe it’s a dream about a massage with a beautiful submissive Asian woman who gently caresses them into bliss, which becomes a sensual love making experience? Maybe it’s two girls, and he’s just watching.

We all have desires and fantasies, some kinkier than others.

For some guys, Thailand is a place to release those fantasies, or for some to see them as just illusions and to let them go.

What’s my point? Be honest with yourself about it. And search in the right places. There are girls who will have experience with those things and be willing players for the right exchange.

But don’t go down a path of making a good girl believe that you something else.

Don’t try to play boyfriend or husband material so as to lure a girl into your flyby fantasy, that’s just not playing fair. Do respect that there are many very traditional girls and leave them for the other guys OK.

In that scenario, it’s likely that it is not only her that gets hurt, as she isn’t going to let you fuck her heart over that easily, and that’s where it can get really twisted and ugly. Uncles and cousins get involved, oh shit, turns out her cousin, who raised her when she was little is the district police chief. You are screwed. Thailand is not a place to get screwed. Not like that anyway…

Those girls are still pure of heart, and dream of their one true love, and just like you have your dream, let them go on safely to find theirs.

The same is somewhat true for the guy looking to meet a genuine Thai girl that he’d like to make a long-term partner. Hint: it’s not the girl standing out the front of the bar in a g-string flaunting her cleavage at every guy that walks by.

Be honest, and play on the right field. Which leads to the next topic.


Which Thai Girl are you looking for?



Bar Girls – the simple straightforward route. They know exactly why you walked in the door and you know exactly what they’ll be asking for. Many bar girls come from poorer villages in outlying districts, may have little education and speak little English. They had a choice, live in poverty, plant rice in the hot field, or go to the big city.

Some hope they might meet Mr. Right, a western guy that can free them from poverty and make them the hero of the family. Some. Most are awake to the fact that they’ll never see that guy walk through the door of where they are working.

Most girls are there to make money and support a lifestyle of nice things, their children, or wider family back in the hometown. They can make 100k Baht per month so you can understand why they start putting their clothes back on and head back to the club as soon as you’ve popped. They are not there under some fantasy of love or feelings, it’s money for honey, and honey is what they’ll drench you in until the job is done and then start looking for the next wallet with a penis attached. Can you blame them? The smart ones are securing their future and putting their kids through school in the only way that’s available.

While I would say have your fun, should that be your yearning, don’t become a bar zombie. Roll in and roll out. That said, girls that have reached their 30’s will be well and truly over that lifestyle and be on the lookout for a guy who can become their partner through the rest of life. The younger girls, well, they are there for the money.

What can you expect to pay: Most places in Thailand have a “bar fine” system as the girls technically work for the bar and the bar takes responsibility for them. Bar fines are paid to the owner and the girl may get a little of that, the bar fine ranges from 600 to 1500 baht depending on which city you are in. Phuket being the most expensive and Pattaya being the cheapest.

Along with the bar fine, you also need to pay the girl. Post the bar fine, it’s up to you and the girl and nothing to do with the owner, you may go to a short-time room, or she may go home with you for the night. Expect to pay between 1500 and 3000 baht for all night depending on where you are. Again, Phuket is the most expensive and Pattaya the least. For short time, as in one hour, it may be between 800 and 1500 baht.

For an all-night stay with you, in your hotel, do also note that your hotel may ask for a fee. Even though you chose a room that sleeps two people, booked for two people etc. it doesn’t matter. They want a fee too. Some hotels will ask for between 700 and 1000 baht.

Massage girls – I know a lot of guys that have hooked up with massage girls in Thailand. Different massage places in Thailand offer different “services” while some are purely above board spas others will offer soapy massages and happy endings. Massages start at 300 baht, add a happy ending and it’s another 500 baht. Some girls may do a “full service” for 1500 baht. That’s at the shop.

There is no reason, and many have been successful as you would expect, why you can’t get the girls number and meet up later.

Genuine Thai Girls – there is nothing un-genuine about the girls listed above, everyone needs love, and the truth is, every relationship has a financial reality. I say genuine in the sense of girls that are truly looking for a partner, genuine love, and relationships beyond the short term hook-up.



Meeting genuine Thai girls who are not sex workers


If you have searched google or youtube, you’d almost believe that Thailand girls are almost all found on one of the bar streets. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Less than 2% of the female population work in that industry and most all Thai girls are very traditional in their values.

It’s a Buddhist country, and I know this is an odd fact, but it’s a country that was never colonized and holds some purity in its beliefs, values, and societal norms.

A lot of Thai girls are ultra-traditional and while it’s changing with the times, of course, most would still hold off on intimacy until marriage. For these girls, words are a big deal, feelings are everything, and kisses, kisses are contracts. They believe in love and are holding out for that day of meeting Mr. Right. It’s likely that this girl won’t even look at you twice, she well knows what you are here for and she is not interested.

If you have a genuine interest in a girl like this, it’s a slow road, and commitment begins at day one.

There are girls who are not so prudent, and are more relaxed and liberated when it comes to relationships. Girls who work in the tourist industry and in the city may be more open-minded, have probably had boyfriends before and could be interested in a long-term relationship with a foreigner. But still, you are going to need to use your charm and wit, and take note of the next key points.


Socioeconomic status and choosing the right girl (or the girl choosing you)


Thailand most definitely has different classes, haves and have-nots, educated and uneducated.

It’s important to note that, as for a long-term relationship, it’s a key part of compatibility. If you have a Ph.D. in nuclear physics you may find that daily conversation with a partner that missed middle school, well, uninspiring. Although, who knows, you may be a social champion and have chosen to lift that girl and her family out of a cycle of poverty, and hats off to you for that dedication.

Likewise, if you are a scruffy layabout with a couple of hundred left in the bank, I can tell you there is no chance you are going to get with any Thai girl 🙂 let alone an educated, middle or upper-class Thai lady.

Most guys, along with most girls, are looking for a partner who is a match to them, someone they don’t feel intimidated by, someone they can relate too, and so on. Cultural differences are already huge, not to mention language differences, adding extreme differences in other areas just complicates things further.

I know some guys who love it when they go to their girls’ hometown where the family lives in bamboo huts and cook over an open fire, they really feel comfortable with that and get into helping out around the place. Others guys are less comfortable with it. Likewise, when the girl from the village comes along to meet your fast talking “rich” foreign friends on a visit, well, she may feel way out of place too.

Look for a girl that is a match on your socio-economic level, one that you would be able to support her lifestyle comfortably if need be, and that you can meet each other on some intellectual level.

You need to look beyond her sexy ass, and she needs to look beyond your fat wallet.


Cultural differences


It’s beyond the scope of this article to present a deep insight of all the differences between Thai culture and western culture or others for that matter. But, here are some key points

  • Understand the importance of family
  • Understand that for many girls there may be no physical intimacy before marriage
  • Friends and family are involved in everything
  • Mother and Father are pivotal in her life and are still decision makers. Even if you marry, they’ll still be decision makers.
  • They love to enjoy the moment without a care for tomorrow.
  • Telling white lies is commonplace, not with ill intent but to save “face”
  • Right and wrong is not a big deal, harmony and happiness at the moment is held higher
  • Be generous, as being generous to others is a sign of good virtue

There are a few key starters that everyone visiting Thailand should know

  • Always take your shoes off when entering a temple or Thai home
  • Always show respect to images of Buddha (ie. don’t throw away anything with a picture of Buddha on it!)
  • Never disrespect the king or the Royal Family
  • Never spit in public
  • Clear away your rubbish after eating
  • Thai’s don’t express intimacy in public
  • It’s uncultured to speak loudly or to argue in public
  • Don’t touch Thai peoples heads.


Meeting Single Thai ladies


Where to meet genuinely single Thai girls? Look for the bars offering free drinks to ladies. That’s where you will find many genuine girls. But, to be honest, that will still only be a very small part of the Thai population as most simply don’t bother with bars.

Online dating and apps are also big in Thailand like it is everywhere, our page here lists the key dating sites in Asia and the top apps you should be using.

Other places to meet genuine Thai girls are shopping malls, parks and gardens, bookstores, Starbucks, national parks, and some of the more upmarket wine bars where girls go to relax and where you might get that chance to bump into someone and make a date.

Festivals are one of the key times, it’s when everyone comes out to play and you should definitely be there among it.

Through your friends’ network. Do make as many friends as you can by being friendly, helpful, or even joining up in volunteer events. Not just for the purpose of meeting a partner, having a social circle is a key to having a happy life anywhere.


Approaching Thai girls


Thai girls are mostly shy, it would be highly unusual for a girl to approach you unless she is a working girl or an extremely outgoing person.

In most cases, if a Thai girl likes you she will keep glancing across at you, hoping that you notice, and maybe wander over to introduce yourself.

And you should take that offer. Firstly, smile, smiling is the most important point, be relaxed, casual, and ultra polite, and go say hello.

Don’t come on like a dog heat, don’t come on touchy-feely, and don’t come in too close.

A little class, great manners, and a good smile are all you need to get started. A Thai girl won’t throw you off like a western girl, even if she is not interested, she will let you know very politely and at worst you’ll have met a new acquaintance. There’s no need to be shy.

Use basic English, and don’t get too complicated at least until you gauge her level of English.

And swap numbers FB details or LINE app details before her friends drag her off. In some cases, upper-class Thai girls don’t like talking to foreigners in a bar because it makes them look like a hooker, keep that in mind.


What genuine Thai girls like


Good manners – polite, warm, friendly, and courteous. Always goes down well with a Thai girl.

Be a gentleman – treating her like a lady is foremost in making a good first impression. She wants to know she is going to be cared for and she wants to see your style. Don’t go over the top, don’t be smothering, or awkward, just little hints, and look for the ‘moments’ where you can make a genuine deep impression.

Express yourself – she wants to fly on that magic carpet ride with you if you are Mr. Right, tell her about it, tell her your dreams and hopes. Take her on a journey into your world. Thai girls are enchanted by foreigners and excited to learn about another culture and western life. But don’t gloat!

Listen – open some space for her to express herself and find out what she is into. This is just as important for you as it is her, you really want to find out what you have in common, and whilst you don’t want to get too heavy, you both should know what each other’s core beliefs are before getting too invested.

Pay the bill – without discussion nor mention, just go pay it and don’t make a thing of it. Especially on the first date. She will never expect that you pay for everything but that signal, that she is covered, is an important one.

Hygiene – do I need to say it? Apparently yes as Thai girls often talk about the stinky foreigner. Clean shirt, showered (more than 5 minutes in the shower), clean shoes, if flip flops or sandals make your toes and feet are cleaned and nails trimmed. Smell nice.

Dental Hygiene – brush your fucking teeth! No, do this, when you get off the plane search facebook expat groups for the trusted dentist in the area and go get your teeth cleaned professionally. It is the most important thing you could do. Every Thai girl complains about the farang’s dirty teeth and stinky breath and it’s a huge turn-off for them.


What Thai girls hate


Poor hygiene – refer to the points above

Cultural ignorance – not understanding local customs and social norms such as respect for the King and the love of country is a fast way of looking like a real jerk. Get up to speed on at least an intro into the important aspects of the local culture, she will show you the rest.


What Thai girls look for in a relationship


A man they can trust. Thai girls are insanely jealous, she already thinks you are a “playboy” because you are a foreigner so don’t give her more reasons to doubt you.

A man that can care for them. Sometimes it’s just those really small things, like opening a door or paying her compliments that will make her feel respected.

A man that will be with her through the ages. Most Thai girls are extremely scared of being alone, especially post 35 when they know there are so many younger girls out there.

A man that can support her (and her family if need be). Everything in this world has a financial reality and a Thai girls eye is very attuned to this point, pull pennies out of your pocket when dollars are called for and you are done.

A man that can respect her family, love of family, and that the family respects him.

After that, she will consider your looks.

Ever wondered why there are so many stunning young Thai women with old beer bellied foreigners? Because he ticked all of those first five boxes. You wanted to know the secrets to finding a Thai girlfriend? Well, there it is right there, simply tick those boxes. And brush your teeth!


Photos of real Thai girls (and bar girls)