So, you are really serious about meeting a lovely Thai girl and tieing the knot, well, you’d better read this.
There are so many dating sites purporting to have thousands of girls looking for marriage and serious relationships, so, so many. Is it true? And is that easy?
I am going to answer those questions and give you a whole bunch of must-know tips, so keep on reading.
Types of Thai girls looking for marriage
The gold digger – she doesn’t need any explaining, same world over. She a has a taste for the high life and loves luxury. She’s not a bad person, just aspirational. For some guys they make great partners as they drive the man to become more and more successful. In a mismatch, they drain the guy till he’s dead.
The single mom – this is a surprisingly large category. Married when young (or maybe not), had one or two children early and for one reason or another the husband left or got kicked out. Either the guy became bored, the girl got tired of her man spending time with other girls, or financial arguments where they guy couldnt be a provider.
The post 30 – she is yet to marry, may or may not have had a boyfriend before and is usually well educated. The time in their early years was dedicated to study and or corporate/business life and they got to 300 and now beyond and are literally in a panic to find a husband. Their family is on their back constantly to find partner and give them a grandchild.
The visa hunter – she can be one of two people, she either dreams of globetrotting and living a life like she has seen depicted on western tv shows, or, she hates life how it is for here at the present time and wants to ‘escape’ her current reality.
The family provider – she may come from one of the poorer regions and has a large extended family that look to her as being the provider. Swamped by this task she is looking for the wealthy foreigner to ease the way.
The retiring sex worker – get to 30 and nobody wants you anymore in the harsh reality of that industry. Post 30 they have seen enough, know that there time is done, and look for a guy to settle down with and look after them.
Genuine romantics – all of the above can still be included in this category. Everyone needs love. But specifically, for young girls, and it is very strong in Thai culture, and that is to believe in love. It’s every girls dream to find Mr. Right and their one true love.
Understanding yourself, who are you in a Thai’s eyes?
The Barfly – found across Asia everywhere. Older guys in singlets sitting at the bar drinking all day and complaining about everything. Few bothered to socially or cultural adjust and many live off pensions. There some really nice guys there too and some that you’d really want to avoid.
They came seeking girls, and also to get better value for their retirement money. It’s getting harder and harder for these guys as costs of living keep rising and visas get more and more difficult.
The Stud – fit and sometimes good looking, sometimes a gym junkie, and a huge ego to go with it. They think Thai girls are going to fall at the knees of Adonis and they also spend up big on flash scooters, showy clothes, and in reality, it’s this guy who gets his wallet drained first. Thai girls can see straight through them and know exactly what to do with a playboy.
The successful retiree – surprisingly, wildly popular with women in their late thirties and early 40’s even if they are stunning and the guy is a beer-bellied 55-year-old. Why? That guy is not going to run away, it’s unlikely he will cheat, the guy will likely stick with her until the end, and, he has the financial capacity to support her.
The mid-life crisiser – he has hit forty, in disbelief of the fact he is not buff and invincible anymore, he’s broken up with his wife, and he’s looking for pretty girls that can fluff his ego so he can avoid reality. Sometimes these guys find a girl that does bring them back to earth and they settle down to a great relationship. It can also go the other way. This stage of life can be tough for a guy out there in the single-life wilderness.
The young girl hunter – there’s a lot. Older guys right into their 70’s who come here and date girls that are still in their twenties. Locally it’s not completely frowned upon as it would be in the west. Most see it for what it is. A money relationship. The girl isn’t in love, she is probably a girl from a poor village, poor family and this guy is giving her and that family a financial boost they definitely need. They are both acting under there own free will so, who are we to judge.
The genuine romantic – yep, there are guys like this. Maybe they didn’t even come here to marry, but they met their one true love.
What are your responsibilities as a possible husband to a Thai wife?
It is so important to understand cultural and social norms, and the expectations your girl may have.
The courtship – it’s important to know that some Thai girls won’t consider intimacy before marriage, let alone sex. One year is about the standard time to be courting and dating pre-marriage. This giving you both enough time to understand each other, and to understand the culture. It’s important that you make a good impression with friends and especially family. As for courting, it’s just like dating in any country. Be yourself with respect and an open mind to the new culture your taking in.
Sin Sod and the dowry – paying a dowry to the family is commonplace. There is no fixed sum. It involves two parts, 11 baht of gold which is baht in terms of weight with 11 being significant as meaning 1 and 1 together, the second part is a dowry to the family. The gold is easy to work out, anywhere from 6-7000 USD depending on gold prices. The dowry fluctuates depending on family class, whether the family invested into her university study, whether she has married before etc etc. Anywhere between 6000 and 12000 USD is commonplace.
Now, some families may return this, some families may discuss this prior and make what is a common arrangement where the newlyweds commit to looking after the extended family into the future in lieu of paying a dowry.
The Marriage – you’ll need passport, birth certificate, proof of being single inc. divorce documents, 2 referees and your partner’s ID card. You’ll also need to get those documents translated.
A standard ceremony consists of a morning and afternoon ceremony with the morning being traditional with monk blessings and mostly family. Cost wise between 1-3000 USD. An afternoon ceremony is more relaxed western style with friends and family and may cost anywhere from 3,000 USD and up, and up.
Family Life – the extended family is the core of a Thai persons life and it’s likely you’ll be living together. If you build a house it is likely that the parents will move in with you. It’s also likely in some cases that you will be the main provider for the extended family. If you move overseas, it’s expected that you tip some money into the family potto cover them losing one contributor.
Where to Find Thai Girls looking for marriage?
Let me also add where not to find a Thai wife and that’s a go go bar, massage parlor, and it’s not that girl that approached you on the street saying “baby, I love you”.
While there are cases where that has worked, it’s probably understandably rare and fraught with difficulty.
To be honest, it’s all a game of chance, like fishing, the more times go out and put your line in the water, the more chance you have.
But, one thing is true, there really are a lot of Thai girls looking for serious relationships. Mostly they are not against dating or marrying a foreigner, actually, it’s very well accepted in the society.
Whether a girl is attracted to you or not may depend more on cultural values rather than looks. Thailand, like most Asian societies, is somewhat hierarchical stemming from an ancient caste system, the monarchy and royalty effect, and money. A girl is unlikely to be interested in a guy that isn’t going to improve her social status and for that reason well-mannered middle-class foreigners are somewhat attractive.
The odds are somewhat stacked in your favor. Key points in being successful are being open minded and understanding the culture.