This is a must-read for all guys heading over to Thailand with the aim of finding a partner. Knowing these simple tips could save you a WHOLE LOT of headache and heartache.
Relationships are never easy, cross-cultural relationships even more so, but, for those that see it through there is the enormous reward of having a great partner and lover.
There is no way around it, every relationship is going to have its ups and downs along with its challenges. Identifying them, accepting them, and working creatively will usually get you through.
So, what are the big challenges in a relationship with a Thai girl? Let’s jump in.
Cultural Misunderstanding – it’s number one. Western culture and Thai culture are significantly different and I shouldn’t need to tell you that. Books could be, and are, written about the very topic. But most guys don’t put any effort in to understand what they are heading into and end up with broken expectations, arguments, frustration, and disbelief, all due to ignorance to the fact that their way of life is not the only way of life.
Here, I have to say the onus is on you to learn about it. You’re the one going there.
Like I mentioned you can learn about Thai culture through books, youtube, and expat bloggers. That last two you’ll need to filter the wheat from the chaff but there are tonnes of great real world experience out there.
A great way is to join up on dating sites, as I mentioned in this article How to Meet Single Thai Ladies, I recommend joining a reputable dating site, and I have a stack listed here along with apps, and befriend many Thai girls. Be honest that you are just making friends and learning about the culture, something which all Thai will be more than proud to share.
Lost in Translation – It’s a biggy. I see many guys with girlfriends who don’t speak English and they don’t speak Thai. For sure, what should get in the way of love right?
In the early days it will be “oh wow, we can communicate with charades”, “we have a special connection” and blah, blah. Bullshit. It never works.
Oh, but we have Google translate. Seriously, what the fuck kind of relationship is that going to be? Google translate is great, but not that great, as often meanings are without context and translations are often wrong. A headache, a really big headache.
It’s all roses in the beginning while the love goggles are on but when the reality of day to day life sets in, it’s completely different story. Honestly, it’s a dead end.
UNLESS, you or she dedicate yourselves to learning one of, or each others, language. You should focus that study on the language native to the country you intend to live in. If you teach her English and live in Thailand, then you are going to be completely dependent on her, and your daily interaction with society will be mostly at her discretion, or with other English speakers.
Learn the local language and your world opens up immensely, you can make friends, connect better with family members and you make your partners life a whole lot easier.
Money – you didn’t correctly understand the massive financial commitment that some Thai girls can present. In some cases, as the foreigner, the whole family network will welcome you in, and also welcome you as the provider. The girl herself may have a taste for luxury and/or globetrotting that’s beyond your means. It’s really important to understand what that girl’s expectations may be in the present, and in the future and as to whether you can meet them, or want to.
Most Thai girls are not looking for day to day ‘making ends meet’ style of living. As you’d expect they look to raise their social status and secure their future, so, they’ll look elsewhere if they are not seeing that within you. Understandable. No girl wants to be some guys play thing for years only to be later dumped by that guy for a younger girl, and, find her best years are gone and that she has nothing. Life is really tough, really tough, without some financial security in old age.
That said, many Thai girls are hard working and take pride in paying their own way and think in terms of going 50-50, with some perks along the way.
Family and friends network – technically you are entering a relationship with a whole lot of people as the family (in the large sense of the word covering uncles, aunts, cousins etc,) and friends are so important to a Thai girl. If you don’t fit in, or have a falling out, it could be terminal to the relationship.
Worse, is when you don’t get invited into the network at all, basically meaning that she either still doesn’t trust you or believe in you, or she just enjoys having a walking ATM.
Visas and complexities of living OS – doing visa run all the time can become taxing no to mention forgetting the dates, overstaying and having a large fine to contend with. Living overseas has its challenges too, missing home, family issues at home, making money, and navigating cultural differences can all take a toll. Don’t underestimate the strain this places on the relationship.
And don’t underestimate the challenges of living overseas, sure, at first, it is a wonderland. This stage lasts some time, but after that, it becomes daily life just like anywhere. You’ll be navigating food tolerance and sensitivities, cultural adaptation, fostering new circles of friends, navigating daily life issues like health care, getting a license, renting an apartment, and finding overall balance. It’s not a small thing. For the most part, it can be a load of fun, but at times, it can also be stressful.
It adds another layer of complexity to the relationship, although, for some, it can be what bonds them. That’s really up to you how that plays out.