Read This First: Meeting & Dating Girls in Malaysia

Malaysia is a very special country, culturally rich, traditional, yet diverse. If you are heading there to meet girls, seeking a girlfriend in Malaysia, perhaps even a girl to one day marry, or even a chance fling or hookup, then this is a must-read for you.

First, let’s take in a little culture and history. It’s a biggy, and you shouldn’t miss this crucial step.

Malaysia is a one of Asia economic and cultural powerhouses and a spectacularly beautiful country. It’s modern and progressive but at the same time traditional, and very tied to its cultural roots in Malay culture, and respect to Islam.

Although, a predominantly Islamic country it is extremely culturally diverse and somewhat of a melting pot of cultures and beliefs.

While many western guys may not be inclined to cross cultures into the Islamic world, you should know that many Malays take a very modern and relaxed approach to religion, and importantly, that a large number of single girls in Malaysia are not Malay, and perhaps not even originally from Malaysia.

There are also many Malaysians who despite the constitution denoting everyone as Muslim, in private, you may find that they are very liberal minded, perhaps even holding beliefs in other religions or even being atheist.

So, let’s explore some of that diversity.


Malaysia is a cultural melting pot


You could argue that Malaysia is made up of 3 nations being Malaya, Sarawak, and Sabah. Sarawak and Sabah only joined into the British created Malaysian Federation in 1963 having previously also been ruled by the British since 1946. Prior to that, they were occupied by Japanese forces during the war for several years, and prior to that owned by a British company which had taken over from the Bruneian Empire.

Without going down a huge rabbit hole of history, you can take that up later and I recommend you do, but I think you can get the picture that Malaysia a rich tapestry of cultures.

You will find that Malayans, Sarawakian, and Sabahan while sharing Malaysian identity, have very different heritage and different personalities.

Even Sabah itself, with a population of over 3 million, is home to some 42 ethnic groups and almost 30% are non-Malaysian citizens. Sarawak is similar, with a population of over 2 million and 40 or so ethnic groups with the largest grouping being the native Iban and Bidayuh people. Both these regions are quite secular.

If the girl is Sarawakian or Sabahan, she is likely to be more open to dating a foreigner than a traditional Malay girl.

Then, there is the immigrant population being majority Chinese, Indian, and Filipino. I have found Malaysian-Chinese to be very open-minded, worldly wise and hard working. They connect more with their Chinese heritage, are usually multi-lingual (Malay, English, Mandarin or Cantonese), and like you, to a lesser degree, they are kind of an outsider too.

My point? Don’t get to stuck up on the Islam thing when thinking about finding a girl for dating in Malaysia. This is a very culturally diverse place.


Understanding Malaysian Women



As I alluded to previously, there are many different cultures and nationalities, under Malaysia’s flag.

Malay – predominantly Muslim, and very traditional. Culture and family rule the roost. Most will require family approval before even dating a foreigner. Many are multi-lingual but most you will meet only speak Malaysian.

Malay-Chinese – open minded, love Malaysia but connect deeply with their Chinese heritage. Many younger Chinese girls will have a big focus on status, meaning, to consider you she will do a full economic evaluation. Many are Christian or Buddhist. Many are multi-lingual and can speak either Mandarin or Cantonese, English, and Malaysian.

Indian & Tamil Malaysians – Younger Indian girls are open minded while holding Hindu belief system. Most are multi-lingual and can speak Hindi, English, and Malaysian.

Vietnamese – open-minded and liberal, social status is important just like Chinese. Some are multi-lingual.

Thai – open-minded and more liberal than most, easy going and friendly. Most are Buddhist. Some are multi-lingual.

Taiwanese – open-minded and highly educated. Like Chinese, they are always seeking to improve their social status, if you can do that, you’ll be in. Multi-lingual and can speak either Mandarin, English, and Malaysian.

And a small number of Russian, Iranian, Burmese, Japanese, South Korean and Cambodian women.


What is the one thing that all these girls have in common? A love of food. If you know where the delicious food is, or she does, and you’re buying, it won’t be too hard to get an informal date. More about dating in the section below.


Where to Meet girls in Malaysia


Malaysia is a big place and I am quite sure you’re not going to go hiking through the wilderness of Borneo on the hunt for a beautiful Malaysian girl, so, I am going to give you my tips for getting started, then, share a list of the largest cities in the country, plus the top tourist destinations so you know roughly where to be looking.


How to find and meet girls in Malaysia?


Chance always plays it’s role when meeting new friends. It’s like anything, you have to be in it to win it, meaning that you have to get out and about. And, you need to use a little confidence, and, swap details at any chance you get.

For that, you are going to need a couple of things, well, APPS actually.

You most definitely want Wechat which is China’s version of Facebook and yes there is an English version. It has one killer feature which is the “people nearby” function. Hit that button and it will list all the people in your area who are also looking for people nearby. You can select between men and women, and you can freely send them a greeting. It’s a must-have. If you meet any locals they will likely have this app and you can easily connect with each other.

Another useful app that some use is Line, a messaging APP, and of course Facebook Messenger. Be sure to have those too.

Check out my big list of dating sites and APPS in Asia here.

I recommend getting online and meeting and chatting with Malaysian girls before heading into the country. You can make some friends before you go, maybe organize a few meetups, or even dates, and in some cases even more. All before you even get on the plane. Two sites to check out are Malaysian Cupid and/or Asian Dating, most guys will recommend either of these.


Kuala Lumpur Petronas Twin Towers



Largest Cities In Malaysia


Rank City State Population
1 Kuala Lumpur Federal Territory (Malaysia) Federal Territories 1,588,750
2 George Town  Penang 708,127
3 Ipoh  Perak 657,892
4 Petaling Jaya  Selangor 613,977
5 Shah Alam  Selangor 541,306
6 Iskandar Puteri  Johor 529,074
7 Seremban  Negeri Sembilan 515,490
8 Johor Bahru  Johor 497,067
9 Malacca  Malacca 484,885
10 Kota Kinabalu  Sabah 452,058


Here are the most popular tourist destinations 


Langkawi – nightlife and beaches


  1. Kuala Lumpur – the nation’s capital and it’s likely where you’ll be getting off the plane. The number one place to meet girls in Malaysia.
  2. Penang – famous for the historic Georgetown, sandy beaches, island, and great food. Great place to meet girls.
  3. Langkawi – Malaysia’s most famous island featuring beautiful beaches and great nightlife. Superb place to meet girls, including travelers from all over the world.
  4. Perhentian Islands – beautiful remote and undeveloped tropical islands. Great to visit, take your new GF with you.
  5. Malaysian Borneo – home to the states of Sarawak and Sabah. Most head to Kota Kinabalu or Kuching but you can also explore the beaches, national parks, and wilderness of Borneo. Great place to meet girls.
  6. Malacca – UNESCO World Heritage Site. Great to visit, take your new GF with you.
  7. Tioman Island – beautiful undeveloped island. Great to visit, take your new GF with you.


Dating a Malaysian Girl



OK, so you have met a girl on one of the dating sites I mentioned earlier and now you are in Malaysia and you need to take her on a date right. Where to take your new Malaysian girl on a date?

That’s easy, for the first date, and perhaps the first few dates, keep it simple and informal. That could be wandering the shopping mall and grabbing a bite to eat at a coffee shop or cafe, after that date may be a tourist attraction, and after that date may be a sit-down restaurant.

Forget about pubs and clubs for dates unless she specifically states that’s where she wants to go.

Some general dating tips specifically for Malaysian girls are

  1. Never forget how important food is to Malaysians – it’s your go-to topic when conversation stalls. You can simply ask about local foods and the different places to go, there is so many. Also, don’t let her go home hungry, food should always be a part of your date even if it’s just a street stall snack (which is awesome in Malaysia).
  2. Be inquisitive about her culture – Discover her values, a little bit at a time, and discover more of her heritage. Whatever you do, don’t start ranting about politics, or how you hate this and that, just work on learning and finding common ground. Morals, values, and social norms all have cultural relevancy. First, understand, and keep a sock in it until you do.
  3. Learn a few words of her language – and use it throughout your conversations. She’ll be stoked. Truly. Even try learning a few words before you first meet.
  4. Understand her English level – and match it, don’t use your local expressions that she won’t understand, use simple words and speak at a pace she can understand you.
  5. Understand that she may be shy – it can be intimidating meeting a guy for the first time on a date, even more so if its a foreigner. She may express this as shyness, or even as being a bit off’ish. Just be polite, and keep chatting and she will begin to open up. And that may not happen until the second or third date.
  6. Understand the importance of family – if her family is Malaysian based, then it’s likely they will be involved in every part of her life. Even to the point of making decisions for her. This is quite standard across Asia and you’ll need to get used to that, and if things go further put great efforts into building good relations with family members.



I hope that helps as a brief intro, or primer at least, into some of the local culture and where to meet girls in Malaysia. And most of all, I wish you good luck!