Asian Friends

The Malays – Kaleide Culture and Marriage

admin — Sat, 01 May 2010 06:00:42 +0000

Malaysia has a rich cultural heritage with the Chinese, Indian and Malay cultures blended in a healthy manner. Malays are the native of Malaysia. Malaysians usually give a high importance to the cultures and also respects cultures of other communities and countries. The Malays being the natives of Malaysia constitute almost half of the Malaysian population. As per the constitution of Malaysia all the Malays are Muslims and hence Islam is the major religion here.

People tend to socialise within their own ethnic communities. These days some marry outside their community, but majority still stick to their own ethnic communities. Families are considered the centre of the social well-being.
The Malay way of greeting people are quite conservative, but slowly getting influenced by western culture. Both the women and men usually do shake hand only with their same sex, while a bow with a smile is the way to greet the opposite sex. Also they do not accept alcohol as gifts, since they do not drink.

Unlike the western culture, youths here, mingle more in public than in private. The Malay men usually choose a bride of his choice. He then forwards it to his mother, who in turn talks with his father regarding the same and enquires if the girl is already in a relation or is available. They then discuss the proposal with their close relatives and friends, who also helps them in finding the financial and cultural background of the girl’s family. If they get satisfied with the results, further proceeds to the girl’s family to know their likings. With their acceptance, the engagement preparation begins.

The Malay weddings usually have lots of traditional customs. The visit to both families by the other families with a formal proposal and acceptance is a traditional custom here.it is called as ’syaraks’. The formal announcement of marriage takes place at the mosque. The headman of the place or community announces the wedding after the Friday prayers. Soon after that the families meet up to discuss about the wedding dates, arrangements, reception activities and all. Another traditional custom is the handing over of token of commitment named ‘Hantaran’. The groom sends the wedding ring along with the Hantaran. ‘Maher’ or the bride price is also handled to the bride’s family during the syaraks or along with the Hantaran.

The Malay Wedding
Malay weddings are a grand affair. The invitations to the weddings are done through invitations, also people attends the wedding even without invitations and helps in the marriage preparations. The wedding is formally called ‘Berinai Besar’. Bride clad in rich clothing occupies her place first, while men dressed up in high formal attire arrives at the bride’s house accompanied by his friends who sings and plays various instruments. The wedding begins with the groom staining the brides hand with cones of henna. Once he has done his part, he occupies his seat besides the bride, while others complete it for him. The duo is blessed with the spraying of scented water and sprinkling yellow colour rice. The guests hand over the gifts to the bride and the gifts are considered to be the brides alone. The gifts handed over usually symbolises fertility and are usually given as eggs or flowers. The marriage readings, announcement of the ‘Maher’ and the formal announcement of Husband and Wife along with religious speech are done by the ‘Imam’, the mosque priest.

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Asian Culture: Japanese Marriages

admin — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 05:48:04 +0000

Current day Japanese marriages differ a lot from the traditional Japanese marriages. The traditional Japanese marriages were usually arranged one, rather than the modern era love marriages. In ancient Japan 90% of the marriages were arranged marriages were both the partners’ even won’t see each other till the day of marriage. Together with the influence of the western culture, love marriages are increasing at a rapid rate which account to less than 10% of marriages being arranged these days.

In older times, the marriages were a result of a night affair, where the guy visits the girls secretly at night and accepts here as his wife, ones she becomes a mother. With the time, Japanese marriages also witnessed wide changes. Previously marriage was the joining of the groom into the bride’s family, which with time has changed to the bride joining the groom’s family.

In the current generation marriages, the youth usually visits the girl’s house, seeking permission form the girl’s parents for the marriage, and with their permission, the grooms family too would visit the girl’s house for the fixing of marriage. Labour and income plays a vital role in the Japanese society and to take the girl’s parents into confidence the youth may have to stay with their family and spend a part of his income for them.

Some marriages occur with the matchmakers help. Here the groom and the bride didn’t have any opinion of their choice. The families would approach a matchmaker who finds a suitable match which ends up in marriage. Offering of rice cakes (Mochi) to the girl’s parents during the grooms visit to the girls house, is still practised in japan.

The Japanese weddings ceremony begins with the bride and groom exchanging 3 cups of ‘Sake’ or alcoholic drinks. This ceremony is referred as ‘San-San-Kudo’. This is followed by the family members having the ‘Sake’. Exchanging wedding rings made of silver or platinum is a common ritual of the present weddings. Modern Japanese marriages are influenced by western Christian tradition with the bride dressing up like a Christian bride. Also marriages are a grand affair that takes places in grand places often near to sea side or a cruise. Traditional marriages here spot the bride and groom in the traditional kimonos. Playing of traditional music and serving of alcoholic drinks are inevitable part of the weddings here.

At the wedding receptions the bride and groom usually introduces the relatives and friends to each other. The receptions are a grand affair with guests dressed up in colourful costumes and kimonos. The guests are served with sumptuous food and drinks, meat and sushi being the major ones. To add more charm to the reception, Music events also takes place.

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Indian Marriages and Cultural Beliefs

Soumya G — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 05:37:05 +0000

Being a country with varied cultural differences, a wide range of marriage rituals and beliefs exists in India. The differences in rituals start with the dressing till the ceremony. The north part of country witness a night wedding, the southern India believes in day wedding. Be it north or south, Marriage is considered as an important part of one’s life here.

Youths usually get married between the age of 25-30 and females at 20-25. Arranged marriages are popular among the Indians, though these days love marriages are also getting accepted. A large number of castes exist here. For a couple to end up in wedding, the caste plays a major role. The proposal is accepted only if the couple to be are from the same caste. Indians believe strongly in horoscope match. Along with horoscope match, height match (guys are usually taller to ladies), age match (guys are elder to lady counterpart and usually with an age difference of 4-5 years), matching family background, financial background, same mother tongue, similar food habits, educational backgrounds are also an important factor of Indian marriages. They believe when the relation happens with all these matches, the chances of family conflicts will be minimized or less.

Elder family members or parents themselves take interests in finding a suitable match for their children. The search may at times long for a couple of years too when there is any negative problems with horoscopes. It’s a typical family affair here. A very strong positive aspect of the arranged marriages here are that divorce rates are too less. The proposal for the marriage is usually kept by the groom’s father to the girl’s father. When the later finds the proposal interesting, he handovers the horoscope to the former. If the horoscope match is found suitable, the boy and girl get the chance to meet each other and express their thoughts on their taste of life. If a girl does not get married at the age treated as marriage age, it’s considered as a shame for the entire family. Among some Hindu communities the marriage of a girl takes place with her Uncle (Mothers brother). This is an old tradition but still in practice, while some communities handover the girl to her cousin.

Marriage takes place on an auspicious day in between an auspicious time known as ‘moharath’ or ‘muhurtham’, which is usually selected with the help of a holy calendar or in the presence of an astrologist. It’s a grand event with a wide variety of cuisines (cuisines are pure vegetarian for Hindu and Jain weddings and non-vegetarian for Christians and Muslims), music and grand dressings. The groom ties the knot known as ‘Mangalsutra’ and exchanges rings. This is followed by the girl’s father handing over his daughter to the groom which, referred to as ‘Kanyadan’. Applying henna or ‘Mehendi’ is a tradition followed here from long past.

The wedding stages are decorated with a variety of colourful flowers. Family members and friends gather to shower their blessings on the newlywed couple. Gifts are handed over to the couples, which in these days are not much entertained by the couples and are being replaced by blessings. The wedding is preceded by the reception where a small group of family members exchange visits to the couple’s homes and have a grand lunch. With the modernisation of the society the reception is being replaced with a grand night event as in Western culture. In some communities, some religious rituals also take place after the wedding to bless the couples. After all Indians believe so much in God.

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Indian Culture and People

Soumya G — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 05:03:06 +0000

India, one of the mighty Asian countries’ is rich in its own cultural and varied heritage. It’s the world’s 2nd most populous country after China with over 1 billion population. With a simple glance at India, one can see so many differences in the day to day life and social life. South through North, East through West, India has its own culture and tradition. South Indians are commonly referred to as Indians, while the Aryans, the Sindh’s, Punjabis, constitute the rest of the Indian population.

Time has witnessed a lot of changes in the social activities of the people here. In this advanced era, people are trying to adapt themselves to the western culture. Even in terms of dressings, fashion, dating and romance, the west has got a clear influence in the Indian society. Nowadays the true Indian tradition resides only in the Indian villages. With the upcoming of towns and cities, people have changes their appearances to become adaptable to the new life and customs keeping their old traditions and rich values in their hearts.

In older days Females were restricted to their own household works, while these days one can find a few of them in pubs, smoking and drinking. There are still some exceptions as in all other cases. Youths here are already a victim of the upcoming latest western trends and have already started on their dating in their school days. Increase in the sex education through television and cinemas have also lead to an increase in the dating and romance ideas. Bunking their college and dating is a fantasy among the Indian youths. Increase in the romance culture has also led to many extra marital affairs and many marriages ending up in divorce.

Though a lot number of romances can be spotted, very few of them are serious love, others being mere playful flirting. Dance clubs, Pubs, cafes and parks are the favourite location of the dating couples. Individuals try to keep themselves in some sort of relationship till their marriages just for time pass and emotional fulfilment. Guys are usually attracted to well-dressed females with high feminine characters and girls try their lot to keep themselves fit n fine. Dating and romance ranges from school to office levels. Dating partners can either be a colleague or an outsider that does not matter anymore. The generation gap also has led to the increase in the social and cultural outlook. The parents living and thinking in a very traditional way and the kids being brought up in the current world thoughts has often led to clashes in many families. The parents are being conservative about their kids and kids wanting their freedom often end up in a big misunderstanding. Some people treat this western influence on Indian society as a blessing while some feel it an absolute curse. Well, time only can show what actually this trend will end up with!

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Dravidian Culture in Relationships and Marriage

Soumya G — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 04:34:19 +0000

People who speak the four Dravidian languages-Tamil, Kannada, Telugu and Malayalam are referred to as the Dravidians. South Indians (people along Kerala, Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh) along with a few Srilankans forms this group of Dravidians. These people are usually having a dark complexion with dark hairs and eyes. All the Dravidian languages are very close to each other and have many words in common and so are the people. Dravidians share a pretty good relation between them. They form a close knit family.

Dravidians are rich in their own cultural heritage. One can find them very helping. At the same time, you can find them conservative when the male female topics come. In olden days male was the money maker and female was restricted to her house work. A high Majority of the population is literate which makes them more active socially. Even the females are considered equal to men these days.

Muslims, Christians and Hindus are the major religion among the Dravidians. A large number of castes and sub castes are also an integral part here. The differences arising as a part of the various caste system and rituals make the Dravidians very much colourful. Dating is not a common situation here. Rather I must say these people hardly go out for dates. Being too conservative and traditional they may not even be familiar with what dating is actually. Majority of the marriages here are arranged marriages. With the change in time, people have started accepting love marriages though many treat it with a negative impact. They give much importance to religion and caste. Family member usually don’t accept a love marriage if they marry outside their caste or religion which in certain cases many even lead to religious conflicts. This is one of the main reasons behind the arranged marriages being popular among Dravidians.

Dravidian marriages: It usually takes place through a match maker. They believe strongly on the horoscope. Horoscope matching is still very strict among the majority population. Once the family shows their interest on a particular girl, the matchmaker approaches the girls family, who if interested reverts back with the horoscope. If that too is suitable then the girl and boy have their chance to meet which is truly a family affair with the young man with his close relatives visiting the girl’s house. The duo has to like each other for the marriage to happen. Here again more weightage is given to the young man’s liking. If he doesn’t like the girl, the proposal is dropped, but no one gives much importance to the girl’s choice. After marriage the bride and the groom resides at the grooms place among Hindus and Christians, while the couples stay back at the bride’s house Among Muslims. The marriage rituals exhibit slight differences in their rituals.

Living in nuclear families and in a hi-tech environment has made some clear changes in the cultural aspects of the Dravidians. But even in this fast changing world, these people love to stick on to their tradition which they value a lot. People usually tend to be with their same sex in public and won’t get close with the opposite sex. Slowly as the time advances, we can expect more dating and romance in this community.

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Chinese Marriage Customs

Soumya G — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 03:57:45 +0000

With the largest population in the world China also has a very old culture and some long standing traditions. There are around 56 identified ethnic groups here and hence a diverse culture. Chinese constitute a collectivistic society and give much importance to others thoughts and opinions. Before committing with anything, they will try to ensure that they are acting right and won’t make way for any abuse from elders. Marriage is one of the three important aspects of life for Chinese people and often considered the most pleasant moment of life.

In the present age, the relationships between couples have witnessed a lot of change from the very conservative people to a very broad minded people. Dating in public is very common in urban cities and many romances have ended up in love marriages here. Chinese have their particular days of celebration. Even their version of Valentine’s Day is celebrated on a different day (They follow the lunar calendar, not the English calendar).

In ancient time, polygamy as well as having many concubines was allowed in China, but was later stopped by law. These days arranged, as well as love marriages take place here. Even for love marriages, couples get prior permission from their parents before they step into their wedding. Traditional Chinese weddings witness six major procedures like match making, girls name knowing, betrothal gift, engagement, wedding date and finally the wedding.

The weddings are usually decided by the couple’s parents. Matchmakers also play a vital role in Chinese weddings. Fortune tellers will help the parents to find if the match is suitable with the help of the girls name and birthday. In this present age also many of the couples get to see each other for the first time only on their wedding day. But they never have any complaint on this since they consider it as the most precious gift they ever get from their parents.

The youth’s family has to visit the girl’s house for the girl with a betrothal gift which ends up in engagement. In return the girl’s family will visit the youth’s family where the in laws would have prepared some delicacy for the girl. Dowry in the form of clothes, utensils, other accessories are to be handed over to the groom before wedding by the bride’s family.

Wedding being considered as an important day is held on a very auspicious day, which is selected with the help of Chinese lunar calendar, as to please the God and for goodness. The weddings are a grand ceremony with the groom dropping at the bride’s house to pick her for the wedding ceremonies which will be held at a banquet location of choice. Post wedding the couples either opts to stay with the grooms family or stay separate, depending on the financial strength.

Being involved in a relationship and later getting legally divorced is a very common act in China for the current generation. Divorce rate is too high here as a result of which one can spot many stores exclusively for divorced people. When a person is having even a minor problem in this marital life, asking to get divorced is not all strange here.

The current generation omits majority of the marriage rituals as they think it’s a wastage of money and step onto simple wedding procedures. With the change in society free love is becoming more popular here.

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Asian Culture: Buddhist Marriages

Soumya G — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 03:29:26 +0000

Buddhism is a religion which originated in India and has spread over many Asian countries. Buddhism doesn’t treat marriages as holy or unholy. Moreover no one forces an individual to get married. It is wholly an individual affair if to get married or be a monk or remain a bachelor. It doesn’t have any law relating to marriage or having children.

Buddhism respects other religions and so marrying a person from a different religion is also given equal respect and consideration. Since Buddhism has a much more importance and message to service to mankind, many people opt to live as monk than leading a married life. The Buddhist monks are not allowed to attend any weddings, but they can give blessings to the couple.

The Buddhist marriages are usually arranged by the couples parents, be it the groom’s or the bride’s. Some cases the boy himself choses his partner. When the parents find a suitable match for their child, they send a friend of theirs to the other party to enquire is they are happy with the alliance. Usually the friend takes a white coloured scarf (Khada) with him and a bottle of wine/alcohol or any other drink. The visiting of the friend to the prospective bride’s house is called as ‘Khachang’. With the bride’s parents having interest in the proposal, the families meet with the ‘kikas’ (Something related to horoscope). This meeting decides the date of the engagement, the colour of the wedding attires of the groom and bride. They usually prefer golden and red coloured dresses for the wedding. Black coloured dresses are avoided since they are considered inauspicious. The kikas also decide the date when the girls should depart from her paternal house after the marriage, usually between the 1st and the 10th day of the wedding.

The engagement ceremony ‘Nangchang’ is presided by a lama or a rimpoche (the monks). Again the kikas are matched to find an auspicious date for the wedding. Handing over of gifts is an important part here. They gift drinks and various kinds of meats. Maternal Uncles and siblings play an important role in the Nangchang. Guest’s handover rice and chicken to the bride’s mother as a token for having breast fed the girl. An interesting part is that after marriage, both the bride and groom stay together in either of their houses till the wedding day.

Buddhist marriages have a common set of ceremonies. The groom, the bride, their families and friends assemble at a place, in front of the shrine of Lord Buddha, which will be decorated with incense candles and flowers. The bride and the groom are then supposed to light up the candles together and recite the religious prayers along with others. They then offer the flowers to the Lord.
The ’sigilovada sotta’ or the roles and responsibilities, each wife and husband must perform are recited by the bride and the groom in turn. The husband should be courteous, faithful, handover the authority to her, should not despise here, and should provide her with adornments. The wife must be faithful, must do her duties well, must show good hospitalities to the relations, must protect what her husband brings in, and should be skilled. Once the couples recite this, only the parents and the guests would recite the marriage prayers ‘mangala sotta’ and ‘Jayamangala gatha’ to shower their blessings on the couple. After the wedding the couples, either opt to stay with the girl’s family or to stay separate.

The marriages are usually accompanied with a lot of music and dances and also a grand cuisine with various kinds of meats.

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Asian Culture at a Glance

Soumya G — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 03:26:30 +0000

Asia being the largest and most populous continent on Mother Earth has its own diverse cultural relationships. Asian culture is a truly complex one, with a large number of ethnic groups’ cultural differences lying within the ethnic groups themselves. Asians are rich in their thoughts and deeds.

The south Asia with the Indian subcontinent exhibit a wide range of differences with the east Asia with Japan, China and Korea, the central Asian countries with the Iran Afghanistan, the five former SSR’s and west Asia with the middle east countries. Regional, along with religious differences, contribute to the cultural diversity.

The West Asian countries are Muslim nations. These countries are male dominated society even in this ultra-modern era. Females usually wear ‘Purdah’ covering their body from toe to head and are not allowed to go publicly in many societies. These people are quite conservative type and don’t mingle much. Dating and romance are not yet a part of their culture. They prefer arranged weddings and love marriages are a very rare happening here. They form a family oriented society.

The East Asian countries mainly follow the Buddhist religion. The East Asians countries are economically rich countries. These countries are having a strong influence of the Western culture on them. Dating and romance are very common and sex industries are prospering here as a result of which people love delaying their marriages and having kids. Both arranged and love marriages exist here. East Asian society is also a male dominated society but slowly being upgraded and females have started to occupy high positions in the current day. People are usually shy at first sight, but once you get close to them, they are friendlier and will respect your values. Racism doesn’t have any point here and all are given equal respect irrespective of the region or language.

The South Asian countries have a majority of Hindus. The South Asian subcontinent exhibits their variance in cultures. With the advance of time, the male dominated society is slowly getting replaced with an equal weightage society. They are reserved people but are quite helpful. The western culture has started to sprout over here making the way for dating, sex and romance. Being a society of arranged weddings with a lot of cultural and ethnic limitations, the western seeds have given rise to a few of the population into love marriages. Love and dating is not that publicly visible as in other Asian countries like japan or western countries. These people have their own methodology of dating and love.

The Central Asian countries follow Islam. They show a very vibrant culture. Their culture is a mix of various culture from India, China, Persia and other Arab countries. In older days these people were treated as the nomads because of their wandering nature rom one region to another. These people are also with a shy nature and give much importance to traditional values rather than the ultra-modern western culture.

With hundreds’ of ethnic communities and cultural variances Asia along with its area and population makes the other world countries feel jealous of her cultural abundance.

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How to Build Rapport With Your Asian Girlfriend

Asian Girly Girl — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 05:04:35 +0000

Dating can be tricky when the woman you like tends to attract a lot of guys. In particular, Asian girls are popular because of their demure nature and submissive behavior. That said, here’s a tip on how you can win an Asian lady’s heart regardless of the number of guys who are chasing her…

Build rapport with her as soon as you meet her. It doesn’t matter if you met her on a dating site, or you were introduced to her by a friend. As soon as you’re face to face, say something interesting or sweet to get her attention. Moreover, have a conversation that will build trust and encourage affection.

Rapport is something you can build instantly, and here are some things you can do to increase rapport as soon as you start talking to an Asian girl.

1. Do Your Homework

Before you go out on a date read up on the latest news, local trends and events. This will help with conversation later on. Moreover, if you’re familiar with the nearest dating spots around your meeting place, you’re more likely to turn an ordinary coffee date into something that she will enjoy. An Asian girl can relax more if the man takes the lead during the date. Suggest something that you can do together, like attending a trade fair or eating in a newly opened restaurant.

2. Act like tourists

If you’re visiting her country, or she’s visiting yours, a “tourist date” is recommended. You can take turns acting like the other’s guide for the day. Have fun taking photos of each other in landmarks. Take turns picking out a native delicacy to eat. Most of the time acting like kids and letting loose. You’re seeing a different side of your partner’s personality and she gets to see your adventurous nature.

3. Learn a Phrase or Two

One of the best ways to build rapport is to speak the other person’s language. It’s a good idea to learn your girl’s language. At the very least, learn how to say “thanks” or “hello” in her language. You can progress to more complex sentences like “I think you’re very beautiful”. Here’s another tip for you. Ask her to teach you a phrase or a word, then find a way to say it during the conversation.

Once you’ve built rapport, it’s easier to get a girl to like you. Your jokes will never be off because she will be able to tell when you’re just kidding. Moreover, you will have a lot more to talk about when you’re relaxed around her and eager to learn more about her culture.

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Adjusting to a Long-Term Love Relationship with an Asian Girl

Asian Girly Girl — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:37:45 +0000

If you’re past the stage of courtship and are now deep in a love relationship with an Asian girl, there are certain aspects of your life together that you need to concentrate on; namely, culture shock and adjustment to cohabitation.

Asian women, when they fall in love with Western men, become extremely aware of the things they don’t know. For instance, they’re aware that the way they speak is different from the people around them and they’re not as adept to responding to queries or remarks by other westerners. This has something to do with the unfamiliar accent and the new idioms they have to deal with.

If your Asian girl comes face to face with her limitations, help her out. You can do this by being extremely patient in guiding her through the ropes of being your partner without losing her identity. She knows you want her to try her best and so you need to meet her half way when she does by being considerate as she’s finding her place in your life.

Express your love by being her best friend.

They say that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but I say that a woman’s best friend is her husband. Be emotionally available and show her how you feel. Be gentle when you’re dishing out advice and don’t forget that she’s always willing to improve and adjust to the new way of life. Take her by the hand and guide her through the basics. You may need to inform your friends and relatives about her concerns so that they too can be as patient as you are when dealing with her.

Familiarize yourself with her beliefs.

You yourself also need to adjust to certain aspects of the Asian culture; in particular, to a belief system that’s centered on religious practices. If she suddenly sets up an altar at home, or adds decoration that tells of her beliefs, don’t scoff. Instead, ask her to explain to you the significance of the things she does so that she can share with you a part of what she considers important.

You don’t have to agree with everything she believes in, but you can make the transition from one life phase to another by tolerating some practices that she brought along with her in your home. Discuss things with her so she won’t go overboard. Moreover, explain to her that you’re not going to agree with everything, but you will respect her culture and her family traditions the best way you can.

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